Love Ya Arranged!!!



Its raining Contests on Indi-Blogger really! And with such a topic where almost every body has something to say, I really had a hard time deciding what a 21 year old girl can say about some thing about which She has no personal Experience. And almost every thing has been said about the topic so as of now nothing really remains to mention.



Still Here's what I have to say....


                                 


Why marriage is seen as an end and not the beginning of a journey?

Why arranged or love have been such important prefixes to marriage in our society?

I don’t understand!!

I have seen a lot of parents telling their daughters or even sons when they face some problems in their married lives “ we told you not to marry this girl/guy, now suffer!” or if not this blunt, then “we told you not to marry this girl/guy, now we have no say. Sort it out yourself!”

But I have also seen partners (mostly husbands)** saying,”she wasn’t my choice. You imposed her on me”

Why can’t there be an understanding among the generations in our society?

What does the older generations think? Marriage is only about husbands having a good pay and a respectable surname in their society, which is enough to raise children and attending all of weddings of relatives and parents teacher meetings at school and saving for retirement and wives with adjustable natures and educated enough to raise a child.

This marriage, may not end in divorce, but will surely end as elderly couples that Nicholas Sparks mentions in The Wedding. These couples are usually polite to each other. The husband might pull out a chair, the wife might suggest one of the specials. And when the waiter comes, they may punctuate each other’s orders with the knowledge gained over a lifetime-no salt or extra butter, for instance. But then, once the order is placed, not a word exchanges between them. Instead, they sip their drinks and glance out of the window, waiting silently for their food to arrive.


And for the younger (or my) generations, if two have decided to go for an arrange marriage, reason whatsoever, might be the parents or anything else, then stick by it, and understand that you are marrying a stranger or a not-so-known and as with all the relationships, which once started as strangers, be it any friendship or business partnership, it will require all of patience, empathy, trust and understanding. And it will take time.Don't Go about blaming your parents. You too were alive at the moment when they were taking the decision. Now deal with it, like adults.


A love marriage can become a Chalte Chalte and an arranged marriage can have journey like Vivah Baghbaan. (Vivah would be too perfect to be reality!)

Marriage requires patience and understanding and more or less, the effort is required irrespective of it being love ya arranged. 

An arranged marriage can proved to be love at first sight and a love marriage can turn out to the biggest mistake.
This is where, I feel, the elders need to play the role. Why can’t the mother or father help the child choose his/her partner? Why cant they support, advise the young when they face problems with partners of his/her own choice?

The parents have to understand that it takes a lot more than a 30 minute meeting that they arrange to decide about marrying a person. (see the video below)
Also the youth has to understand that lot takes a lot more in a marriage than just sipping teas and watching movies on the weekend.


Marriage is journey, I feel, where you have to accept all of the little annoying habits of each other like snoring at night, yet keep supporting, fighting and patching up at the end of the day. Its not about the wedding day but about the whole course of beautiful moments and adjustments that are to come post that day!

How about parents having an open discussion when the youngster is deciding about marriage? How about parents advising the young couples and be at their side who had a love marriage but are now having a hard time, just the way they would have if it were an arranged marriage.

But, It seems I am talking of a utopian World, Ain't I ???

In The end I would like you to remember this: :-D


                                      

                                     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1M2J27VyY4 



and in the end for ** mark , I would say I am no biased. Its just that i have happened to hear that more from men. But a woman can be saying that too. So, Males there...No Hard Feelings :-D




Submitted for the Indi-Blogger Contest "Love Ya Arranged". Vote for it here.



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