Do U know what do U miss?

Isn’t it strange? You get a feeling that you have nothing in this world. And at the same moment You are afraid of losing. Not money, not reputation but something, something you don’t know but have a feeling that it exists. You can’t name it. Its just….something. Technically speaking, as cynics would say, you can’t lose anything if you don’t have anything. But life doesn’t follow any technique or some Dumb head’s stated facts and theorems. Feelings and thoughts are something you have no control over. You can divert your mind, but not for long. The deepest feelings remain. You can’t hide them or hide from them. Its easier to say that you shouldn’t feel you don’t have something or you should always see glass half-full. The fact is, Often in life, we do feel something is missing and also sometimes we do feel we don't want to lose you-don't-know-what.

                            

You can read like maniacs, watch movies like anything, cook to divert mind but it takes a moment for the feeling to return. It might be a note of music, a phrase from a book, a dialogue from a movie, which again evokes the same emotion. The same hollow Void inside you, for no apparent reason. The more you try to indulge in something else, the more days you are away from it, the more depth and intensity it will return with.

Painters paint, Writers write, dancers dance. But what if you don’t know how to paint! What if you want to write but you don’t have words, Yes a sheer lack of vocabulary! Its easy to say-learn. Its never too late to learn anything. The fact is, when you have a thousand images so vivid in your mind that you think you will explode on the canvas, you can’t go to a class and learn about primary colors and shapes.

You can’t always say or write-words fail me. Why? Why do they fail you? Why can’t we have exact words to express. Its difficult to live with feeling that you don’t know what is the problem of its reason. Its more difficult when you, kind of, figure out what is it and then realize you can’t say it as you want, because the person in front of you can’t understand it. You can’t blame her/him. You can blame nobody but yourself and sometimes, not even yourself!

What I feel- this whole philosophy of you-should-always-try-to-see-glass-half-full is a bull shit. No, I am not saying we should behave like pessimists. Hope is something we ultimately find solace in. But I don't feel when people say its human nature to desire everything and that is the cause of his problems. Its our greed. I don't think so. Infact, people who say this have a big fundamental belief wrong that all human need same things. By believing this, they make the biggest fool of themselves or the people they advise. No two human can need the same things. So I hate when people say you have this and this and this, you are just letting your heart greed more when it doesn't need more. It does. Nobody is mad to keep on suffering if there was to be no reason. There has to be. Infact I think we need just a few things in order to live happily. It will be different for X, Y & Z. Do you know what are the few things that you dearly love and need or you, too, are chasing mere illusions? Do you know, what do you miss???

(c)2012 Priyaa Arora

(Image from google)

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