Priyaa Scribbles Here... :)

Its ironical when you send a not so complete post to a friend before publishing it, and later you tell her to not to read it because its kinda personal & crap and two days later you come up with a post that you consider quite personal and publish it to the world. The former post was probably a hundred times more casual than the one you published. I have always been very reluctant to share the inner me. May be it stems from the experiences when I tried and was misunderstood & perhaps because I fear judgement on my deep inner emotions or insane vulnerabilities as has been earlier, though in a not-so-serious manner. Or may be this reluctance was always there. Whenever I would write something, a  part of me would be screaming yells of pain when words would form a sentence but those sentences together lack the feeling that I ache to share.  Though on a personal blog, you are, kind of, supposed to rant, I don't know but any post on personal life or on that deep inner side...

Its an evening of strange emotions where I am feeling sad, alone, left out, hopeless and experiencing all those emotions which are making my life hell. I don't know who can I go to. I am feeling hurt for no reason. I want to talk yet I am finding it so difficult to make a call to anyone. I just can't make myself to pick my cellphone. I am sad and feeling angry on my own self for feeling this way. I have no solution. I do not understand this side of me. I am holding back tears while writing this. I don't know what is better-to cry for a while and feel lighter or be controlled and let it pass. I am finding it so difficult to express this, even to myself and I don't even know if is it wise to write it here. I am longing for a support, am longing for a friend to do things together, I am longing for someone to cheer me up and am longing for someone to share my deepest vulnerabilities with. I am longing for someone to crack a nasty joke with. I am feeling anxious where I a...