Reaction.......

*FICTION*

She looked at her face which had grown dark in color...."tanning", she told herself and thought, "How long it has been since I looked at myself in mirror." She looked at her hair which had grown a good-length in the last four months and the split-tends which splurged through her hair. It had been six months since she had gone for a hair cut... She looked at the face-wash and moisturizer which had been lying unused for the months then and a sunscreen lotion which she had not bothered to replace with cold cream for winters. "Where have I lost myself? Infact, have I really lost myself?? If yes, where?" the thoughts kept daunting her while she was still looking in the mirror.

The way she is, she tried to push her thoughts back and made her way out of wash-room although this wasn't something that was going to leave her and she too knew that. Something caught her from behind and she had to look back, she didn't know what was that but whatever it was, it wasn't willing to leave. She looked back in the mirror again and spotted the chit pinned above it. She went nearer and stripped out the chit. The chip was red....her favorite color...How long it has been since I wore red? the questions danced again in her mind and she hurriedly opened the chit:

Dear Megha,

I am going on an office trip and will be back in a week.

sorry to inform you like this but you were working late in office when I packed and sleeping when I left for airport in the morning. Call me as you find this. :-)

Dinesh

How could I forget?
Dinesh had told me last week about the outstation audit, and I forgot, once again I forgot.

She called Dinesh immediately but his phone was busy. She took the chit and went out of the wash room.

She messaged her HR and told that she wanted leave for a day and she was immediately granted it. She thought about the last monday in office when Suparna was begging for a leave and wasn't getting it. Suddenly it dawned to her that she hadn't taken a single leave from the organization in the last six months, since the day she joined.

It was my wish to work for an NGO and Dinesh had just asked me to take some time to think about it,otherwise he had no qualms. It was my wish to do some social work. but I never thought that I would give everything just plain everything to it. It wasn't passion...it was...it was to be at a distance....distance from.....from Dinesh?? No!It can't be, she told herself. Then from what.....whats missing?? I lied that I had a fever and didn't go for his B'day...On my B'day I was too darn busy with the NGO, or rather I made myself too occupied with work. Did I really joined this NGO coz I wanted to serve?

The previous six months were telling a completely different story and she couldn't lie to herself anymore.

Dinesh...has he been feeling this too? How can he not react then? Six months and no reaction....

Reaction....Is this what missing from our life? Is this what I miss from him? Why he has always been so sweet ? Why he never says no? Why is everything okay to him? Is this why I joined the NGO? Was this the purpose I was "serving"?

She looked at the watch and it had been two hours while she was thinking all this. She called Dinesh and he didn't pick up. After these moments of introspection, she did one thing first, she framed her resigning letter and mailed to her HR, a decision taken as impulsively as she had joined it.

She went to take shower and came back to check mails if there was any reply.

There was a mail from Dinesh:

Megha,

I don't know where have you been last few months, how it all started and why are you slowly moving away from me? First your job, then skipping morning breakfasts, and dinners and eventually your weekends. I tried asking you, taking you out but you always made excuses. Yes, excuses, I knew that then and I know them now. I had no idea why but I gave you time. I told you last week about my trip and I knew you'll forget. I saw your missed call and am responding.

Listen Megha, I don't where this distance came between us. Love is still there. I love you and I know you love me too. May be you needed  your time. I gave you. But lost yourself completely. I know the first thing  you must have done today or thinking of doing would be resigning from the job. Do it. Please. For Us.

I am not on any business trip. last months were tough for me too. I think I also need time now by myself. I'll come somewhere next month. And I am not going to pick any call from you. Once you had said something about "Reaction". This is my response to it. Once in a while we'll communicate through mails.

I still love you. Please think about what I just said. Like you, I too don't know where have we arrived but I have to.........

Love,

Dinesh

She read the mail, but instead of having teary eyes, there was a slight satisfaction on her face. Because finally he felt it too. He reacted. and She knew, they both needed time.

(c)2013 Priyaa Arora

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